I'm just trying to find a path that I can stomach

I'm losing. That's for sure.
My ring that I always wear on my right 'ring' finger is nearly falling off of my  hand. If I put my hands down to my sides, off it slides. Right now as I'm typing, the top of it is facing the keyboard rather than the ceiling. It's really annoying that it slides around like that, but I really enjoy the fact that it does.

I decided to use up most of my intake for the day this morning for breakfast.
Regular Quaker Oatmeal
1/2 tbps. Honey
2tbsp Cinnamon
6oz Light Vanilla Soymilk
I'm not counting the calories today. I'm too worn out to do so.

I told my mom about my panic attacks. She's going to look at what I found on MayoClinic.com and she what she wants to do about it. She said she didn't want it to effect my classes.
But ya know what? It's 3:18 and  I've already missed my 1:30 class.
So umm.. ya know.


I'm making dinner for Jared tonight. I did last night too.
I made whole wheat spaghetti with four cheese parmasean sauce. I added venison ground to the spaghetti because he loves meat sauce. I steamed vegetables, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and put them underneath the sauce on top of the noodles and then I made some homemade garlic toast. I did eat a little bit of it. It was damn good I must say.
Tonight I'm making venison chili. It's already started and smell delicious. I'll probably let myself have a bit. Since I generally pick out the meat. Kidney beans, red beans, northern beans, green pepper, onion, tomatoes, tomato sauce, yum.

I'm becoming very irritated with livejournal. not the site in itself, but the people I have chosen to be friends with. it's kind of sad. almost.

I'm too nice. I care too much about other people. I enjoy giving people encouragement, advice input. I think I have chosen the wrong people to encourage and give advice to. otherwise one would think that I'd receive the same in return. I'm sounding like a selfish bitch and I don't care.

It's almost the new year and I'm changing a lot about me. a lot about my life. a lot about the things I do. a lot about everything.
I've decided that I'm seriously cleaning out this friends list of mine. I have all of these pointless whiny journals to sift through as I'm attempting to read the ones which I am interested in. is that sad or what? let alone some of these people who don't post for months then come in with some sort of 'reintroduction' post. it's kind of annoying. it's like, if someone friended you, has you on their friend list, they'll remember  you. if they don't- delete them. WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM GOING TO DO. I comment on the people whose journals actually contain some type of information I'm interested in. If I don't comment on your journal ever- I don't care.

okay, I'm sorry for sounding like such a bitch, but it gets kind of old after a while.
I'm also leaving any communities which I am not active in anymore.


I'm done complaining now. I'm tipsy. I'm happy. I'm witty and I'm bitchy. all at the same time? no shit!